A Song About Being a Sports Fan

I never take my jersey off 

I didn't make the draft but I watch it like a hawk 

Durant and Lebron take their pick and this trading keeps me pacing 

So long as we get a championship 

A pick bigger than a puck 

Cleats and meets and armpit stink 

Tough enough to play in muck 

Whatever it takes to secure a win 

And what about women's sports

Watch her move across the court 

Why tackle when you can be tactical 

And don't forget the cheerleaders on the side 

Gymnasts are a marvel 

The gold makes up for the stunted growth 

Sometimes it hurts when you pee 

But that's not a symptom of CTE

And if it comes out red, you played for the USSR team 

You don't have to be a King 

We all want that ring 

Pinstripes and funny hats 

But the referees wear ball- proof vests 

I guess it's about strategy 

But it seems boring to me 

Can't wait for the 7th inning stretch 

A penalty can be costly 

Color coded conduct keeps the score 

Soccer's like track without the hurdles 

Roll the dice which is the ball 

Fans are the core of all sports