(ABOUT "ew_me" )

                    

Friends and loved ones, please excuse the title of this page. The "ew" part...I can feel you disagreeing with it from afar. It's a play on my name, though, man! My initials...?

my initials are MEW.

So when i say, "it's ME!"

I really mean: It's Maya E

SO...EW ME...is just a generous application of the aforementioned trick

I mean I borrowed the w in white twice but...eh

Anyway...

My name is Maya E White. On my debit card anyway.

There is no period after the E on my debit card, but on other forms of identification...the period appears. 

I fantasize about gettin' ~pedantic~ on a federal form, you know where they ask you to list any other names you may have previously, or currently, gone or go by...

To be suuuuper annoying (like seeing the word ~pedantic~ ON A BLOG???) what if I just maybe wrote:

Maya E White

Maya E. White 

Maya White 

Maya *Redacted* White 

I'm actually quite pleased with my middle name. 

Not to like brag, or anything, I just know middle names--typically within the walls of a schoolhouse or on the asphalt of the play yard-- middle names can be a touchy subject. Oh also on sitcoms, they make a bit out of middle names often in sitcoms, I feel. 

That's the only reason why I'm being sneaky now...I have a Gemini Moon. OoOOooOOoo. Is it a moon in gemini or gemini moon. I say both. Well. I truthfully say the latter more often but feel that maybe the former is like the seasoned astrologer's preferred choice? 

WHATEVUH, I have a Gemini moon so i like to act sneaky sometimes heheheh hoohoohoo ha ha haaaa

but i'm also really bad at keeping my own secrets. fuckin' sucks, my guy.

i chalk it up to my attachment style, but I have this thing about me

where I feel compelled to be shockingly candid with acquaintances, new relations, healthcare professionals, etc. Like I am so, so generous with shit I really don't wanna be with all the time. Just comes out. Lemme think of an example...Well I...

Yeah no, um just use your imagination. 

too personal. haha. 

I guess the best way to distill that thought would be:

my party trick is performing conversational altruism. 

i am Not bragging. i am NOT PROUD when i say

that i am the Viola Davis of small talk. 

I am a Thespian, god damn it. 

(remember my allusion to attachment style from earlier. recall it, NOW!)

I am listening. I am entirely too focused on your energy, what your character's wants, needs, and motivations are. I am an unknown member of that popular improv brigade, whose name I'm now forgetting, and I am ready for any fucking scene. 

Say you love to talk about yourself but seem to be self aware enough to sense this tendency of yours could be inappropriate at times...Don't worry bud I'll nip the awkward silence right in the Bud Light for ya: do you know your sign? 

See because before in this scene, it was a little stagnant. A little monologue-y with, you know, you telling me about you and more about you to somehow spark more interest in you in me though your ignorance to my actual interests renders your attempts inert...but that part...hmm, did everyone get that part? I said it in a weird way, I hope we all got that. 

...

Anyway, but then I jump in with the "yes, it's cool that you love to talk about yourself so much, and I happen to love to talk about astrology. do you know your sign? if you tell me your birthday, we could talk about you in a more detailed, yet universal way." then my character will get some subtle exposition moments for the folks back home-- you know, just so you get to know a lil somethin' bout me and my interests outside of work and school...Also, I won't lie, my mercury is in Aries, I LOVE TO SHOW OFF. GOD PASS ME THE FUCKIN' MIC, MIKE! C'MON! C'MAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHNNNNNN. 

oh, by the way, this is my attempt at an 'about me' page. just to clarify. before i go on. YOU BETCHUR BOTTOM DOLLER THERE IS MORE. OH YES THERE IS!

um. 

it's elizabeth. by the way. 

The E in my name. The E I was talking around earlier. 

Yeah I was trying to be funny with all that. 

Hope I didn't lose ya there.

anyway, yeah. my full name is Maya Elizabeth White. 

I do really like my middle name. I would never redact it on a government form. 

Elizabeth is the government name shared by my paternal grandmother and my maternal great-grandmother. I say the government name because my paternal grandmother, Elizabeth, goes by Ann. And i never knew the other Elizabeth. 

When I was in trouble, as a kid, there were many ways I could tell, but one of the most frightening ways was when my mom called me:

Maya Elizabeth.

I kinda wanna go by Maya Elizabeth now, though. It's way too formal for my personality-- in my mind, anyway--, which is why I like it. For some reason, I think if I formalize my name, how people address me, I might garner more respect. Without having to do so much.

I would just sound like a serious lady. On paper.

But thoughts like that are so silly. SO SILLY. I had a friend, who contemplated reverting back to her full name for college for fear that her nickname would make her sound childish. She said, I feel like my nickname, but I dunno. Well I knew, what the fuck? You are who you are, call yourself what you like and expect others to follow suit. Correct 'em if you have to, go head. 

                                                It's...just a name. 

I just, intellectually, logically, disagreed with her argument. I mean, I empathized with what she was saying, I got it. But I was just...Yeah... I was just like, no! Fuck that, dude! 

Lol. But, for real! 

I gotta remember that. 

 For me, ya know. 

It's pretty cool that I wanna reclaim Maya Elizabeth now (i guess?), but that reconnaissance was for me. the PR department in me says, "eh...we don't need to lead with that though. i mean it's great that we did all that, but i mean...for a morning talk show (a casual introduction and subsequent conversation) i think it's just gonna be a little heavy for people just waking up you know?" 

So yeah, it's Maya Elizabeth White, technically. 

But you could just call me Maya. 

Whoa, but if you ever got the urge to shout "M.E.!" at me, like my 2 first initials of my name...I would truly be thrilled. 

Like, I probably won't get it, at first so like wave and smile and stuff so I get a sense that you're flagging me down. And not declaring yourself in public.

Oh last thing. 

I like to write in that I talk a lot in my head. 

I'm just a riffer, really. I like to riff. 

And my friend Camille told me about Tao Lin's blogspot and then 

my friend Emi gave me Megan Boyle's book Liveblog (I always wanna say it's Megan Doyle, why? I hate that...)

Megan Boyle is great! I haven't visited Tao Lin's blog, but both factoids blessed upon me by my guardian angels-of-friends are the inspiration for actually posting and keeping up and trying and caring and committing to this blog. and just like following through on this idea i had for no other reason than that i told my friends about it, they thought it was cool, they gave me cool references and continue to inspire me to this day and i wanna just thank them, all of my friends, not just emi and camille, but really thanks everyone. i'm just gonna do me on here. gonna try anyway.  

Oh! and that shouting "Me!" at me thing, was inspired by Megan Boyle and her blog because she did this post where she was like yo hmu if you want me to make this weird noise my shower or sink (can't remember which) made. here's my number! and like one person did. called her i mean. the person called her up to expressly have megan make the weird pipe noise and then just hang up. god bless that person. righteous dude, no doubt. 

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anyway!

Cheers 

Tschuss

&

bis spater!

hey! hi! it was cool meeting you! 

hope i'll see you around...